rebel

now i understand why i am so awesome at a level people just have to admit that i'm awesome. i'm awesome not by being narcissistic or obsessed with myself but by fact. im quite the eccentric because im different with you guys because the entire space of my soul is burning in the awesomeness. do you know why we are different? coz of the shallowness you guys devour in your life. ask me to define shallowness and i will say shallow. shallow not because of you dont read much or the amount of your vocabulary is as little as your fingernails but shallow due to the amount of faggotry you carry on your back. define faggotry and i will say stupid thoughtless judgements. excuse me people who have the same age as me or younger than me, when you talk about politics i dont care behind or in front of me you are just stating the obvious that you are dumb enough to join all those people who talk about politics annoyingly with all their saliva spread all over the place,swimming in that dark thorny abyss filled with their own saliva. sometimes their abyss of ignorance really appals me that it motivates me to study harder but nah nothing can reach beyond the level of my laziness except the stupidity of myself. ye know,im different. im natural. i dont have any poles. i dont repel or attract to any sides. i hardly have friends who talk about politics but other schools,they just have plenty of students who are very clever in making thoughtless judgements that come not from any articles in the paper or from any reporters but from their alter ego who desires fame that i think they should try debating in a parliamentary debate so that they will get inspired that only intellectuals rule this world and the most powerful thing in this world is knowledge. i didnt say that those politicians now are the intellectuals or vice versa but im talking about the real intellectuals in whose souls such a bottomless ocean exists. guess we just have to find them or create them ourselves. just so you know eh not all abysses a peak. not every sea is full of pearls damn. why did i say you are dumb,it's because you are shallow. shallow because you are arrogant and desperate wanting to show to the world that you are the greatest mind ever in this 21st century damn. you know i dont care what you people will think about me because i am now so good at figuring out who's worth my kindness and who's just trying to be a faggot in my life and im now a grown up human who is not innocent anymore who doesnt know how to be selfish in right circumstances. i have seen those kind of demons you know,lurking behind the masks of humans. they are really dangerous. you just have to be very observant,patient and attentive until they bare their teeth and fall their masks off. those ugly,dirty,filthy,arrogant,ignorant demons just need to have their faces drawn with big red cross marks. i'll pray that all my friends will be protected and have their hearts secured from all those bajet ilmuwan/politik/conspiracy theorist/or whatsoever faggots 

but i will share you a secret on how to be awesome. just swim in a sea of awesome people because i do. i am surrounded with awesome people every single day in every week in every month. at the end we will just share this awesomeness together. i'm merely the one who exists inside the emptiness of my soul or perhaps,the empty soul itself is who i really am. no matter what i am,i have always had this rebellious streak but i never get the chance to potray it in any of my life scenes. but now,i have no desire to seek approval from any of you though i know i fail miserably in making decisions for myself. but i just have to. well i dont mind because i have faith,in people who have faith in me. so tell me,how long,like a prisoner of grief,can i beg for freedom. coz i,desire the freedom to be able to afford to pour everything,like everything out of this misery